Suicide- I still can't believe she did it

I know that I'm not coping with my sister-in-laws suicide right.  I just can't shut off my brain.  I can't seem to find any peace right now.  I know that she's only been dead for 4 days and no one expects me to just be over it.  We were so close for so many years.  She had a long history of mental illness and we always bonded over the fact that we could relate to each other.  My last suicide attempt, she was there for me.  I wasn't there for her when she needed me.  I've been drinking every day since she died.  I can't relax without it.  I go to bed at night and cry myself to sleep.  What's really starting to piss me off is all the fucking people asking the details of her suicide!  They are really asking how she did it.  What the fuck is wrong with people?  Also, my phone won't stop fucking ringing.  People are calling to express their condolences to my husband, nice right?  Well these people haven't had anything to do with my family in over 10 years and now they're calling all sad and crying- looking for us to comfort them!  Asking why she did this to them!?  My husband has buried his dad, mom and now sister all within the last 4 years.  We just need a fucking break from the world.