I wrote this one day when I was about to loose my shit

I am going to loose my shit.
I am obsessing and I know that everything would be okay if I just did it.
I need to hurt myself.
I am going to explode and no one around me deserves it.
Just once and everything will be okay.
I've tried punching myself.
I've been trying the elastic thing all day.
I cried.
Nothing is helping.
Healthy sucks.
I think I'll take some klonopin and drink.

I'll let you know how it works.