When the shadows start creeping
I know my control will begin to weaken.
The familiar flutter of my heart
my breaths coming further apart.
That itch just under the surface of my skin
tells me I will bleed soon again.
I begin to desire a numb escape
even if these substances led to my rape.
The feeling that my talking will burden my love
only fastens the mask on more snug.
I despise the reminder that my meds aren't enough
that no matter what I do this will always be rough.
Acceptance is what I have been seeking
my nightmares remind me why my strength is fleeting.
I am who I am and today that's okay
I will battle and fight for my life one more day.
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