Following my last post, the shit that landed me in the hospital... I wrote this while I was locked up.
Another 15 days of life in a bubble
I crashed again- hard
I saw it coming but couldn't stop it
Two weeks ago I found what I needed
Percocet, Ativan, Valium, Vicodin
That was on Thursday
By Sunday I had eaten or snorted all 4 bottles
Over 70 pills
The amount of alcohol- I've no idea
Those few days I don't remember, as my husband started making the calls
The trip to the hospital I can't recall
The admission?
The strip search to inventory the wounds?
Having said wounds "dressed"?
I don't remember
I remember watching the door shut, locking me away from my love
When he got home he found some art- painted in my own blood
Oh- how much I hurt him
An ugly list of self hatred
As the doors are unlocked- I am "stable" again
Free to be with my love
I am broken this time
I have to start at the beginning- again.
But I am really broken this time.
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